The Art Of Being An Introvert

From spending Friday nights in front of all your favourite soaps, or having a day in your pyjamas, the art of being an introvert is one I have mastered.

Introvert – noun. noun: introvert; plural noun: introverts. /ˈɪntrəvəːt/ 1. a shy, reticent person.

I think its safe to say I am an introvert. If you know me at all, you will know that I am very much an introvert more than I am an extrovert. In fact, there is very little of me that is an extrovert. I didn’t actually know the difference between the two until a year ago. But now I do it all makes sense. As someone who has always fallen into that introvert category, I know how it feels to just want some alone time. I hate going out on nights out and feel awkward in big group situations. Its not arrogance, or being rude, its just not being a people person. Okay, yeah, does sound a bit rude but keep reading and you will understand. 

I know its quite ironic, me saying I am an introvert when I work on social media. Maybe its because I spend a lot of time being ‘social’ on social media to help develop this platform I have. I work so hard on it, that when I am done, the last thing I want to do is then have to go out. Having a large part of my life being online, and also doing social media work for clients, means I am online 24/7. The social media makes me anti-social, but I am okay with that, because I love the job I do. 

When you enter your twenties and your adulthood, you start having your eyes opened to so many different things. For example, a lot of my friends are very much socialites. Always wanting to please everyone and be the social butterfly. You watch them make friends with everybody and everyone, try not to miss out on anything, but also put other friendships at risk for the sake of new ones. I completely understand. You don’t want to miss out on that meal out, that night out, or that cinema trip. I feel like that too… sometimes. But I see my friends who are doing social activities everyday of the week and it exhausts me watching them. 

I never feel this way about my work. At the moment, I have a work to-do list as long as my arm (quite literally). There is a small part of me panicking about how I am going to get it all done. Because trust me I don’t know either. However I never feel burnt out by work, I simply keep going. I don’t want to seem up myself but I am very much a hard worker and perfectionist, and simply to not do work digs a hole in my heart. But to miss out on a social event? I don’t get that same pang of guilt. 

One of the biggest things for me is being around people I don’t know that well, or people who I have never met before. My mum, for example, is brilliant at filling awkward silences, and making conversation with anyone. But I take my social genes from my dad. We like who we like, and we are okay with a smaller social group. I purposefully like to make sure I have a day a week spending time alone. Getting my uni work done, shooting some blog content, and actually taking some time for some good self-care TLC.

When I was a teenager, and at school, you were surrounded by your friends every single day, and you were used to having out all the time with no responsibilities or burdens. Now? I am trying to get through my degree, in the process of being self-employed, and I am also working with clients and its all a bit of a reality kick. For me, I have no shame saying no to a night out, because I simply don’t have the time to have a big ass hangover. 

But I also respect those who can’t spend a Friday night alone in front of Eastenders. Those who get major FOMO if they aren’t out with a vodka coke in their hands. And its important not to become a complete hibernating bear. The idea of being secluded isn’t good for anyones mental health, and you don’t want to get to the point you might find your friends backing off. Reply to those texts. Arrange to go for a coffee. Or a simple ‘Hey, I haven’t spoken to you in a while but I hope you are okay?’ Text goes all the way.

Your friends will get if you have to cancel plans, it happens to everyone. But cancelling very damn time will become frustrating because who wants a friend that doesn’t want to hang out. I find myself in this situation, but for me, I can’t do last minute plans. My schedule doesn’t allow that because I will get on with uni work, or blog shoots if I don’t have plans. So moderate your time, plan ahead and find your balance. 

I do believe its about balance. Because even though I am preaching about being an introvert and that I can happily go a few days being by myself, its not healthy to do that all the time. I do love seeing family, and friends, and all in moderation. Being in social situations where I feel uncomfortable does push my boundaries sometimes for the better. But I also know my own limits. I know that when I feel uncomfortable I crack my knuckles. But stop it girl. Stop whatever you do, from being your nails, playing with your hair. Relax. Even if social situations get awkward, in a few weeks, months or years time you will look back on it with a totally different view. 

But for now, I am enjoying my Monday morning in my pyjamas and dressing gown – hibernation to its finest. 

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