Can We Appreciate Realistic Friendships For A Moment?

‘The closest friendships you will have are the ones that you don’t have to see all the time but know you can hit it off where you left off’

This is a phrase I think we have all probably seen drifting around on Facebook from time to time. I know that because I think I have tagged some of my friends in it before. The good ol’ Facebook tag which makes us maintain some sort of contact with those we don’t actually see everday. We all probably write one of those ‘Awwh babes love u’ responses too’. Hands up, because I know I am guilty. But I think this statement is still very true. Friendships which don’t need constant contact are the best.

One thing growing up has made me realise is that shit gets busy. I juggle a job, university, an internship and my blog. This leaves me with minutes for any sort of socialisation or down time. And I can guarantee you a big percentage of this will be spent in my PJs. I might be watching Netflix and eating triple chocolate chip ice cream too. No shame. 

I was convinced that the friendships I had in school would be the friendships I will have for the rest of my life. I think everyone has these rather naive thoughts too. You think that you have bonded so much in the 5 years you are in education for together that nothing will break that. And in some cases that is true, but in others it isn’t. 

When you take different paths, like university you lives turn upside down. You meet new people, make new friends, and you both change. Whether you think your change or don’t trust me it happens. Me? I turned into an oldie before my time – I have appreciated this very much. But some of my friends? Completely different and are living the university experience to the fullest. As you grow up you start figuring yourself out more. You start knowing who are as a person and who you want as friends.

But time is my biggest issue with friendships. You have to do the whole scheduling two months in advance even if you want to just go for a Costa together. So this is the point of this waffle blog post. If I say no to meeting up, its not that I don’t want to be friends, it’s because I genuinely do not have the time to meet up. However I feel that your closest friends will understand. If you wanna chat, give me a call. If you have major gossip that simply cannot wait because ‘Bethany broke up with him and then slept with her ex’s best mate’ then that is in dyer need of a cocktail evening. 

But balancing meeting up with your friends is one of those acts with is always more complicated than it needs to be. From experience, and coming from a friendship group that had like 7 girls in it, its a mission to find a time where we are ALL free. But leave your friends waiting too long then your friendship will drift. But the time you spend seeing one means another friendship needs attention. Not to sound cold hearted or anything but when time is precious this is true. 

So now we are trying to balance meeting friends in with eating, sleeping, breathing and simply living. We would all love to devote as much time as possible to our nearest and dearests. However I know that those close to my heart are aware of clashing busy schedules and even if there is only one meet up every 6 months – it will be a guddon’. Depends on who that person is too. Whenever I am away from my uni friends for more than 3 days it is weird as hell because I see them for a hefty chunky of my week. But my old school pals? Because we now live all of the UK, seeing each other once every couple of months is a success in my eyes. 

However we are now living in a world that means even though you are 549 miles away from your BFF, you can still make time for each other on Snapchat or Facetime. Queue my friend Nick. We will make sure to message each other at least once a week. Or whenever I have another drama in my life basically. We don’t see each other in person a great deal. But when you don’t live near each other anymore its hard. Christmas will be the next time I might get to meet up with him. But there is still no pressure too. Saying that it would be weird as heck not to speak to him at least that once a week.

Though it can be stressful, making time for your friends, whether it is every week or every other month, is just the best feeling. Realistically we know you can’t make every one a priority. But don’t over look a cheap bottle of wine and a movie night in with your bezzie. They are the best. 

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