Friendships for me have always been a bit of a funny one. Such a natural part of life, even when you don’t expect it to, friendships can blossom. But to be able to look back at past friendships and new friendships it is a bit of a mind boggler. And when you think about it. Friendships are very much like clothes. We all have that one item of clothing you never want to get rid of. Mine was a red spotty dress. I still have it, but now it is in a little bag of baby clothes or memorable pieces. We have friendships like that too. That one we won’t get rid of. But then like clothes, we also outgrow some friendships and it is more than inevitable.
You look that that perfect girl-gang who have dinner plans once a week. They have a pamper session and a glass of wine, and go all out with hen parties. Take Anna from this series of Love Island just gone always mentioning how she is a ‘Girls Girl’. This is slightly a bit of an odd perception for me. Because in short: We all have our own lives.
I would say it is a reputation, but during school I would often be the one to fall out with someone else. I don’t think I was a b*tch (I am sure people somewhere will think otherwise) but I wasn’t afraid to say anything I didn’t agree with. Looking back on it I can see that I was just weirdly mature for my age. I am like it now, and I actually think for me this is a good thing. But because of this I wouldn’t say I have strong bonds of friendships. Unlike some people do from when they were at school.
I find it really intriguing looking back on past friendships. I don’t think I missed out on anything. Sometimes, yeah when I am scrolling through insta and you see large girl groups on a girl holiday etc there is that little pang of hope that I was in the situation. But after the closing of the whole school chapter I was left feeling confused at what would happen. The week before I started uni was one of the worst. My friends were moving away. We all naturally would drift apart if contact wasn’t made and we would all make new friends.
Since being at uni, I have seen friendship in a whole new life. I remember my friend telling me “the friends you meet after school will be your friends for life”. My university course is relatively small. This means we are this close knit group of likeminded individuals. Honestly it has opened my eyes to a new level of friendship. We are all there to get a degree, build up to a future where we hope to prosper into the same field, and binge on as many deliveroos as we can. Some of us live in halls. Some of us at home. Some of us want to go into photography. Some of us want to go into journalism. But I just have that gut feeling some of them will be friends for life.
That one friend that your bond is so close, you don’t see them for 8 months. But when you reunite its like you see each other every day. The one like your prom dress, your wedding dress or a black tie dress you will keep with you for the rest of your life. This is one of the friendships I truly cherish the most. Knowing you will have that rock, but you also understand if you can’t meet and you have separate lives is so important. It is the person you have known for as long as you can remember, the person who knows you better than you do, the person who has been there for you. I don’t believe in the word forever, but this is a never ending friendship.
This is the friend that you know you will have a snapchat from in the morning when you wake up. The one that makes you almost wet yourself with laughter. I like to call it ‘the ruin you mascara friendship’ because of cry laughing all the time. The one you go to when you are down, when you have boy drama.
They will FaceTime you when you are having a wee, they know what you look like when you are too lazy to get dressed. You get that pang of sadness when you don’t hear from them and even though you might not have known each other long, you felt like you have know them for a lifetime. I like to call it the comfy trainer friendship because you know they will support you, be there for you and no matter how old, you will always turn to them.
I miss this friendship. I used to be really close to a girl at work and when she left this time last year its like going through a break up. It is the friend that you tell all your latest gossip too, the person who you eye up different guys with, and the one who will just laugh when you drop a drink all over the customer. I find these friendship brilliant just because they are purely mischievous. You will get told off for talking and not working, you will hinder each other and not help, but to make a boring shift more entertaining.
Can you see how friendship is like clothes? Friends are friends. But like clothes, pieces are different but when we buy them we are committed to wearing them. And we make a commitment to friendship. Because they are our friends.
To this one is to the friends that have stuck by my through thick and thin.
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