This time last year… well maybe a bit later on in the summer… I did a post about how to feel confident in a bikini. Last summer when I went on holiday was the FIRST EVER time in my life where I felt confident wearing a bikini. Before that I had never really worn one out of choice. I didn’t feel like I could with my body. Don’t get me wrong, I have never been ‘big’ but I have never been ‘skinny’ either. I would say I am an average size, and back then I didn’t see that as a good thing.
My confidence is more up and down than a bloody rollercoaster when it comes to my body and the way it looks. No matter how many times I read encouraging instagram or blog posts about how you should feel good about the way you look – there is always going to be that niggling in the back of my mind. But you know what I think that just shows that we are human.
If I could write a list about the things I don’t like about the way I look. I could do easily. But I can guarantee anyone you ask will say at least one thing! I know my body is susceptible to weight gain if I really eat A LOT or if I ate rubbish or if I get lazy with my gym routine. I do treat myself to a takeaway or sometimes I only go to the gym once a week – THATS OKAY! But if I do it consistently then it is only natural to get a bit chubs.
Back in march I swapped over to a different contraceptive pill. The one I was on before was making me really down. I was SO happy to change it honestly it did my the world of good. BUT all types of contraception have their side affects. For two months after starting it I felt like I was putting on weight and blasting excessssssivvvvvelly. I am sure many girls can relate to this – am I right ladies?? I am here to not only say that its okay to feel sad that you have put on weight or lost weight. However I am also going to speak about how to deal with it in the best possible way. There is no way I can change your mindset about a bit of #bodyposi. But it might give you something to relate or think about!
I knew that the weight I gained from starting this new pill wasn’t fat it was ‘water weight’. Your hormones go all over the place so your body will retain water that it takes in. But this doesn’t last. It is only temporary, a few months at max and I just kept telling myself that. I know that when I had my second period on that pill I literally lost ALL that bloating. But no weight is permanent and you can actually control it! Even if thats not now, it will be in the future.
A lot of people will look at my hiding in my jumpers as a cop out. Or just brushing off my insecurities. I see it SO differently than that. If you are feeling crap about yourself why can’t you wear what the hell you want to wear?? For me these are my jumpers. I do have to say, I pride myself on my jumper collection, and jumpers are just comfy. Whether you feel more comfortable in skirts, or trousers or baggy tees, wear what YOU want to wear. Unusually I find bikinis more comfortable to wear than swimming costumes! ODD.
When I was at work the other week I was talking to one of the regulars about me going to the gym more often at the moment because I have the time too. He then said something along the lines of ‘Yeah you do look skinnier like you have lost some weight actually’. Although he was saying it as a compliment I don’t listen to comments like that. It might be what I want people to say however I don’t think it actually does any good. it makes me feel like ‘Oh was I big before then?’ or ‘Why should you care whether I have gained or lost weight’. You have to listen to what you are saying not anyone else. And if its a nasty comment then that person isn’t worth it!
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