We are half way through the year which means there six month until my twentieth birthday. Six months until I am no longer in the ‘teen’ category. Coming to terms with this graduation of this next ‘life chapter’ is actually a lot easier than first thought. The main reason why?? I CAN’T WAIT FOR MY TWENTIES. I don’t want to seem like I am dreaming my teens away, as they are a mark of freedom and a stepping stone into adulthood. But I’m itching for that signifier – ooooohhh heck I am going to be an adult!
I think 20 seems quite fitting. I am outgrowing those teenage sized shoes into womanhood – but not great big ol’ boots. As I am writing this I am 19. I find 19 such an odd age. When you turn 18 its all ‘Oh my god you can legally drink’ and ‘Lets go out clubbing and get smashed’. This whole new world opens up, and there is a large amount of responsibility with this. See my blog post about when I turned 18 here (its a throwback). But 19??? It is such an in-between stage which I can’t really say is something I have enjoyed.
I think since I have turned 19 I haven’t really felt ‘myself’ and 2019 has been a bit of a rocky one. There have been some great moments, however moments that SUCK big time too. It’s gotten to that point where I want to change that. Whether that means cutting out people from my life, making selfish choices, and doing stuff for me… I think my twenties will signify this.
Throughout school and whilst I have grown up I have always been more mature than a lot of my peers. I grew up in a large girl group – some of which I am still friends with and some I haven’t. Despite this I find it SO much easier to befriend boy *space* friends and three of my closest friends are male. They say girls mature quicker than boys and in some ways I disagree with this. Because of this I am not your stereotypical teen who goes out clubbing all the time, gets drunk every weekend, or finds laughing at pathetic memes funny. I much prefer a cup of coffee in front of my TV, or at most a cocktail night. From working behind a bar, I am surrounded by older and more mature people (give or take dependant on alcohol consumption) so that has made me grow up even more. I feel like I am in my twenties already… mentally I am 25 but my age says otherwise.
I HATE the way the blogging industry is very discriminative towards age too. A lot of campaigns I see on marketing platforms etc… start at 20. WHY?! Its a fleeting statement however most bloggers who are under twenty are generally mature enough to understand marketing campaigns or else they wouldn’t sign up to the platform in the first place. I understand if the campaign is aimed at middle aged men, or elderly women, however main campaigns just start at 20. It’s like how bloggers under the age of twenty are deemed ‘teen’ bloggers. UGH I hate that because I AM NOT.
I am just ready. Ready for life to really begin. I want to do that ‘adult’ thing. Get my dream job. Be more respected. Find my true love. Be happy. Be free. Cringe but true.
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